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THE WEST TEXAS SAGUARO CLUB - BYLAWS - ARTICLE 1: PURPOSE - The purpose of the West Texas Saguaro Club is to perpetuate the existence and presence of Saguaro Cacti in Texas Culture. We know full well there are no Saguaros in Texas, but that must never be mentioned. There are only 3 rules of the West Texas Saguaro Club: 1) you must wholeheartedly believe the Saguaro is the best cacti in the world; 2) you must spread the good word that all Texans should include Saguaros on their hats, shirts, signs, Facebook profiles, etc., etc. - ARTICLE II: MEMBERSHIP - Section 1: Regular Membership - Regular members in the West Texas Saguaro club shall be conferred after proper application to the Office of Saguaro Affairs (My Mom’s House for anyone that doesn’t like the Facebook Page). All peoples are eligible to join the club, however, preference is given to those that aren’t from where Saguaro Cacti grow naturally and those that are good friends with Mr. Franklin, if you catch our drift. Monthly dues in the amount of $78 will be due on the 1st of every month. You may be wondering why $78, well that’s exactly how many feet the tallest Saguaro was. Fees for beer, piñatas, various board games, El Jefe’s personal assistant, and rent for our 5 acre experimental Saguaro garden will be determined exclusively by the Office of Saguaro Affairs. Regular members shall have voting privileges. - Section 2: Affiliate Membership - Affiliate membership may be authorized upon proper application to the Office of Saguaro Affairs Director: El Jefe, aka The Saguaro Guru, aka Cactus Maximus, aka Honcho de Desierto. Affiliate members shall be assessed an administrative fee, dues, or assigned to buy beer for the club. Affiliate members shall not have voting privileges, and they shall not have an opinion of what kind of beer the club should get. We’re drinking Lone Star. So stop asking, Steve. - ARTICLE III: TERMINATION- The right to continue as a member of The West Texas Saguaro Club shall end when the member 1) is no longer in good standing with El Jefe, 2) has mistakenly mentioned there are no Saguaros in Texas, 3) bought beer other than Lone Star, or 4) used the 5 acre experimental Saguaro garden as their personal Devils Lettuce growing space... Looking at you again Steve. Why have we not voted him out yet? Members rights, interests, and access to the local YMCA steam room shall cease once terminated. - ARTICLE IV: STEVE- I’m serious about getting rid of Steve. I don’t care if our mom owns the 5 acre Experimental Saguaro garden is on and she said I have to be nice to him- he’s a jerk and he doesn’t even like Saguaros or Lone Star. Seriously, we just need 1 more vote, and at least 6 cases of Lone Star, and we can get rid of him. I’ll waive membership fees for anyone who will vote against Steve. - ARTICLE V: ELECTIONS- Once we have more members than Steve and I, we can elect an El Jefe. Naturally it should be me, but I’m willing to change my position to Coyote Pack Leader Alpha Prime if unelected. - ARTICLE VI: FEES - I will waive all club fees and dues if you join my club.
SELLS OUT VERY QUICK